Great – Grandma Fritsch’s Thoughts

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Grandma's Card to Me

My Grandmother and Nora's Great Grandmother has always had a talent for telling a tale.  When I was young I would sit for hours listening to her and Grandpa talk about their youth, wild love affair and crazy family life of raising my dad and his three siblings.  

My Grandma has been kind  enough to share some of her thoughts and stories here on 'Sundays at Grandma's'. In the upcoming months we will hear more from her, for she has an important story to share too on these pages.  

But today we will hear her thoughts about Nora's death in her letter to me. Thanks Grandma for sharing.  Also, I appreciate the humongous hugs you sent my way. 

Great Grandma Fritsch's Thoughts

(Humungous Hugs Enclosed) ~ Gramma

Dear Lindsey,

I have a few thoughts about my great-granddaughter, our little angel, Noreen Kelly Henke.

What happy and exciting news to think our two December granddaughters 1 year and 1 week apart would have their first babies only one week apart.  One a boy and one a girl.  Wow – I could shop in both departments for clothes and toys.  Even now, five months later, I look longingly at the baby girl things.

The news of Nora’s stillbirth put the entire family into shock. Never thought of such a tragedy in this day and age.  Shock – disbelief, devastation, and grief all mixed together and I was not the parent – so how on earth did you and Nick feel I pondered?  

Then the funeral – instead of all the joy we’d all planned.  But what love and support you both had at the funeral.  But I knew so well all you wanted was your own little Nora to be alive and well.  

It is a heart breaker and the way things were – we so easily could have lost you, too.  It is important to remember it was the love between Nick and you that produced Nora and thank God you both still had each other.  Be thankful for each other and all your love.

Love you with all my heart.

Great Gramma Debbie

XO

And Always

Great Grandpa Bob

XO

Inspirational Bereaved Parent - Guest Post by Colleen Hoey

Today's Inspirational Bereaved Parent Guest Post is from Colleen Hoey, a bereaved mother whose daughter was stillborn at 34 weeks and 4 days pregnant in March of this year.  Her story is one of great sadness and strength as she moves through her fresh grief trying to heal her heart with operation Heal Our Hearts.  There is wisdom, courage and strength in what Colleen is doing with her grief.  I hope you find her story as inspirational as I do. 

  

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Evelyn's Birth & Operation: Heal Our Hearts

 

I cruised through pregnancy and found myself loving it. Not an ounce of morning sickness and every doctor appointment was concern free. I felt Evie kick me all day everyday...my doctor would always say, "Strong heartbeat and she's still having a party in there!". The very last time I heard those words was 4 days before she died. Ugh, only 4 days before she died she was perfectly healthy and then her kicks stopped. When I noticed I hadn't felt her all day her dad insisted on me calling my doctor and I finally caved; they told me to come in right away. I was trying not to worry, I thought I would go in, get monitored, and leave. I wake up every single day wishing that was the case.

We live in the city so he dropped me off and he quickly parked the car. I headed up to labor & delivery thinking we would be in and out. He's a nurse and was on-call so I didn't want it to take too long just in case his hospital needed him in. The nurse quickly strapped a heart monitor on me and that's when I knew something was wrong. She was searching for a heartbeat. Searching....and searching...and searching...and finally they picked one up. It was mine. So she called in a doctor and asked her for an ultrasound. There was my Evelyn. She was beautiful and so big! There was only one thing missing when I saw Evelyn that last ultrasound, her little heart wasn't beating. I knew that this meant she was dead but no one was telling me. In a room full of doctors and nurses, there was silence. Finally, someone spoke up and looked at me with sad, sympathetic eyes and said,"We are so sorry."  

It had all happened so quickly that her dad hadn't even come to the room yet. He came in from parking the car and they had already confirmed her death. I had to break the news to him that our daughter died inside of me and that there was absolutely nothing we could do. I witnessed the breaking of my future husband's heart and it replays over and over again. We asked what the next steps were and they explained that I needed to deliver her. C-sections were too risky for infection so I was going to have a baby. A baby that lived but was never going to breathe.  On March 11, 2013 Evelyn Anne Netzel was born at 34 weeks and 4 days at 5lbs 10oz. She looked like my mini me.

I have had a hard time trying not to blame myself since we received no answers for why she died so suddenly. Every test result came back normal. How are we supposed to go on after this? At first I wasn't sure we would be able to. However, I am determined to not lose ourselves along the way. This summer is officially Operation: Heal our Hearts. I  need us to remember who we are and why we fell in love with one another. Chris & I started off as just friends and bonded over music but quickly discovered we were perfect for each other. I think it is important for us to grieve together but to also heal together. We booked a trip to Cancun, scheduled a few concerts, but we also made sure to keep some weekends free for relaxing and alone time. Henrik Edberg, owner of PositivityBlog.com, shared his 10 small ways to make this summer the happiest which have helped guide us and I hope it can help lead you to having a happy summer too!

1. Go slow
2. Say yes to the new
   
3. Say no to the "should" of summer 
4. Just do nothing at all
   
5. Be the summer you want to be
6. Be kind in small ways
7. Savor the summer moments right here instead of being lost in the future or past
   
8. Ask yourself what you can be grateful for so far this year
   
9. Just accept how you feel instead of pushing it away
   
10. Spend more time doing what you love

Colleen Hoey is a non-profit accountant for Big Brothers Big Sisters, bereaved mother, and blogger just trying to live, laugh, and love after a loss...

Grief Project - The Helpful Healers

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. "

~Anatole France 

I was crying.  I was always crying.  Weeping.  Sobs of sorrow flowed out of me at every direction as I lay curled in a ball on my king size bed.  Deep in my grief and excavating the depths of my pain.  I was fine being down there in the dark, lonely, and empty place where grief resides.  I planned on staying there awhile.

Then I felt the bed move and heard the clinking of his collar chatter as he walked the length of the bed towards me.  I tried to hide my tear stained face under the nook of my arm, but his warm, welcoming, wet, tongue found me and slobbered all over my salty tearstained face and nose. 

And with that, a slight smile grew from my grieving frown.  

I pulled him close and hugged him and caressed his soft, comforting fur and held his cute little body close to my heart.  He laid there and let me cry.

Until he thought I had had enough. I began to weep and wail as memories of her and feelings of unfairness filled my mind.  When I weeped. He howled. Aaaoooooh.  Aaaoooooh.  Soft and gentle his words of wolf comforted my soul.  For he was too was grieving.  And his empathy and timing made my heart glow as a laugh of joy escaped my mouth.



 
Dogs have always been my first love.  I fell in love with our first family puppy Lightning before I fell in love with any boy.  So in my grief it is no surprise that my one of my most helpful healers would be my second child, Georgie, my shih tzu.

Animals have long been included in healing practices and in the therapy world we have a name for them-therapy dogs--SURPRISE!  Therapy dogs are used for a myriad of different mental health reasons including war veterans suffering from PTSD, children with terminal diagnosis, teenagers with mental illness, nursing home residents, along with people in incarceration. Research shows that interactions with therapy dogs creates a positive endorphin response which can lower blood pressure and cholesterol.  Oh, and that feel good brain chemical I love to talk about, Oxytocin, well it has been proven that its also released when you are petting your furry friend. (And bonus, they get it too).

Therapy dogs also help with grief.  And don't just take Georgie and my relationship as proof.  Minnesota resident, originally a Newtown native and school psychologist, Holly Ryan was compelled to help her grieving hometown after the tragic school shooting and decided to take a Minnesota therapy dog from PawPads on her trip with her. Ryan describes Ranger's unique gifts of intuition about grief in the Pioneer Press report of her experience, "Ranger, normally reserved and unimposing, would go out of his way to focus his attention on certain people."  Only to learn later that those people Ranger sought out experienced some of the greatest traumas of that day and probably some of the greatest grief. 

And if you think dogs are the only animals in the kingdom who can experience grief, think again.  Elephants mourn deeply.

It is said that when elephants walk by the remains of one who has passed, the herd will pause in silence for several minutes.  To see an example of this deep respect for grief view this short video below. 



So I guess it is no surprise that George, using his intuitive superpowers is on his way to being a furry life guard of sorts.  He provides me with "unconditional positive regard" and sees me as just a human.  A human who was hurting.  When I am sad.  He cries.  When Nick is grieving.  He grieves.  When I need love and cuddles.  He loves and cuddles.  So my suggestion is, get a pet.  They are proven to be helpful in your healing.

Resources

You can tell I am an animal lover and if you are too, consider adopting one to help with your grief through the Animal Humane Society.  Can't take care of a pet but want some canine comfort?  Then volunteer with the Animal Humane Society, or better you could bring your pet and train them to be a therapy dog for others and always for you.

If you want to read more about the impact therapy dogs have on humans read a book recommended to me by a therapy dog handler, Transformation of the Heart.  One of the stories is about Avalanche and Susan.  Susan experience the untimely and unexpected death of her husband on vacation and tells the story of how Avalanche helped her climb out of the avalanche of her grief. 

For more information on pet therapy for a multitude of healing reasons visit Pet Partners.

Imagine A Mother...With Empty Arms

I was honored to be asked to write a guest post for OC Walk to Remember blog.  Check out my poem Imagine A Mother...With Empty Arms.  

Thank you OC Walk to Remember for sharing my work and thank you Katelyn for asking!

Guilt. For Another Place. For a Different Time.

Nick and I sat at the dinner table, just having finished our anniversary dinner and now enjoying our dessert of strawberries, chocolate, and cos turine red wine.  As he reached for the last strawberry I sheepishly asked him a question that had been on my mind all week and unfortunately resulting in sleepless nights.

"Are you mad at me for not going to the hospital that night, when I noticed she wasn't moving as much?"

Nick's gaze met mine as he retracted his reach for the strawberry.  With a somber tone he replied with a gentle but honest "No."

I looked away from his eyes as I built up the courage to continue. "But, what if I would have listened to my worry as I normally do?  What if I would have woke you up and insisted that we should go to the hospital instead of going downstairs to get a sugary snack which resulted in a tiny movement that foolishly calmed my fears?"

"What time was that?" He responded.  He was with me now.  I had his full attention.

"It was 9 at night."

He sat back and took a moment to collect his thoughts before he replied, "I don't think it would have made a difference.  Even if we would have gone in then, you probably would not have had an emergency C-section until midnight.  She was gone by 3 in the morning when the doctors told us she didn't have a heart beat.  We don't know when she died.  Besides you remember what the doctor said."

"I know, that even if she was born alive she probably wouldn't of made it." I replied referring to the severity of her infection in the autopsy report. I wasn't satisfied with that answer so I continued, "I know.  That is the one thing that helps me deal with the guilt. But, Nick, I feel like I should have known.  And I second guess myself."

"You can't do that." He said as he rose from the table and put his dirty dish in the kitchen sink as I momentarily sat quietly to reflect on the conversation.

Then I stood and moved towards the speakers the iPod was attached to and changed the song that was playing.

Nick turned as he heard the music change to the familiar lyrics from two years before on this day.  When we held each other close and danced to these same notes on the evening after exchanging our life long vows.

Walking towards him, I silently took his hand in mine as a soft smile bloomed across his face.  We embraced and slowly swayed back and forth holding each other as we danced in the kitchen.

With a whisper in his ear I softly said, "I'm sorry she's not here on your birthday."

"I know." He said.  "Me too."

And as I laid my head on my favorite resting place, his shoulder, he held me tighter.  With a deep sigh the guilt of the "If Only's and What if's" faded into the distance.  For another place.  For a different time.

While the burdens of my heart released and my forgiven soul rested on his shoulder.

5 Signs of Healing from Grief

"How are you doing?" With a hug and sincere concern.

I answer, "We have good moments and bad moments.  The good ones are starting to out weigh the bad."

And that is how I know I am healing.

Inspired by Signs of Healing in Healing a Father's Grief by.... I created my own list of Signs of Healing and borrowed a few from theirs.  See below for signs I know that my grief is softening with each passing day.

5 Signs of Healing from Grief

You... 

1.  Notice Others Pain
I begin to step outside of my own grief and notice others are grieving the loss of my child too. I have begun to let their grief and love for my child intertwine with mine and share in others experiences of loss and love.

Your...

2.  Grief is Your Welcomed Companion
I don't turn my back on or fight off grief anymore.  I walk with each other as equals on our new path.  I accept when Grief comes knocking on my door.  I invite him in and sit down with him for awhile.  I don't have expectations about when he is going to leave or for how long he is going to stay.  I have learned to accept that Grief comes and goes as he pleases and like my shadow I know he is always with me, even in a dark lonely room.  Especially there, and I am okay with that.

You have...

3.  Times of Emotional Relief
I'm not crying all the time.  I don't feel numb anymore (even at times you wish you did).  I have moments when you let a little joy and laughter in and allow yourself to feel it. The pain of grief doesn't go away, but the constant intensity of it lightens to let brief moments of relief from the pain in.

Your...

4. Depression Lifts & Parts of the Old You Shine Through
I no longer feel severely depressed after strong waves of grief.  I can get out of bed and go to work.  The moments of grief fog are fewer and farther apart.  Days aren't as heavy, but moments sometimes are and I am okay with that.  I find myself surprised when I laughed again or a smile crawls across my face after months of frowning.  I have begun to notice parts of the "old me" surface from time to time and come to life for a moment or two.  I am not the same as I once was but the old me pops up now and again. 

You...

5. Move Forward & Make Plans for the Future
I have begun to plan for the future.  Taking risks and setting goals.  I have begun to find my footing again and it might be wobbly, but it's there.  I have begun to live for today and trust that the future will come and I make plans to make the best of it.

Letters to Nora - Nora's Letter to Me

I did an exercise a few weeks ago called "left handed writing" (or with your non-dominant hand). I had been contemplating doing this exercise since I read about it in On Grief and Grieving, by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler which I read in the early months after Nora's death.

So, one night, when I couldn't sleep I went into her nursery and sat on the ground with my blanket and pillow and took out a piece of paper and pen.  With the lights off, as not to wake my husband, I laid on my belly and rested my hand on the paper with the pen, waiting, for who knows what.

I then started talking to Nora in my mind.  I said I missed her.  I asked why she had to leave.  I told her I loved her and that I was in a lot of pain.  I said that I was ready now to receive her answers.  Ready for anything to happen.

Well, what happened is I started crying. Sobbing.  Wailing.  And I started to write.  It was her voice in my mind answering my questions, and part of me knew it was mine too.  But I kept writing.  I did not look at what I was writing, I couldn't, as it was dark.  I didn't take care with having it straight or legible.  I just wrote  the words coming to my mind. 

That night, when I was done writing, I crawled back into bed with my husband.  I did not turn on the lights.  I didn't read what I had wrote.  I left the pen and paper on the floor in her room for another day, a different time.  Besides, I figured what I had wrote was just all my thoughts and words anyways.

As the week went on, I walked by her room and saw the paper with scribbles on it laying on the floor.  I made no effort to revisit it.  I thought the exercise was pointless.  I figured it was my words coming through on the paper.  After all the thoughts were in my head.

Then about a week later, on Sunday evening, which happened to be Mother's Day, I went back into her room and looked at the four white pages sitting there.  The paper was full of scribbles and most of it was illegible, but I sat down and read it.  And below is what I could make out:


Dear Mom,

I miss you too. I love you, but I had to go.  I was never meant to stay.  You don't need to save me as I didn't need to be saved.  Please let me go mom.  Let the pain go.  You are a good mom.  This is why I chose you.  You held me my whole life.  I never felt any pain mom.  I am only loved.  I am love. I am happy mom, this is because I know you. 

Mommy, I feel your love.

Nora

Well, the last two lines, "Mommy, I feel your love. & Nora" are what I wanted her to say to me.  But the rest of it is what I could read from my scrawls.  The whole experience was mind-blowing.  I know that some of those things were not my thoughts when I was writing it and some of them were.  Then again, maybe I have to admit, I really can't remember what I wrote on the paper as it had been a week ago already.

Who knows if I was really receiving a message from Nora or if it was just my own mind, writing down what I hoped to hear her say.  But, I have to admit.  It made me feel better.  It makes me feel like we had a connection that night, even if the connection was just me trying to find a way to forgive myself.

If you need more healing experiences or ways to connect with your deceased child.  I suggest trying the exercise.  Even if you know it's probably your own mind answering your questions, it still can be a healing experience. It's an opportunity to give yourself more permission to grieve, to connect, to heal.  Even if it's just with yourself.

And who knows, maybe, just maybe, it was Nora.

But, I guess I will never really know.

Sundays at Grandma's - "I am the Lucky One," by Grandma Gerry

I am the lucky one

Today I gave blood at the Red Cross.  This is something that I do a couple of times a year—something I can do for others in need.  I went in just wanting to get my appointment over, a dark cloud over my head, and generally not in a good mood. 

I made it through the appointment by basically talking as little as possible, inwardly very sad.  I was in the canteen sipping on my water and eating my trail mix after my blood donation, trying desperately to avoid getting into conversation with the Bubbly Volunteer.  Another donator sat down across from me, and the Bubbly Volunteer sat in between us.  The donator across from us was very happy to join in the conversation with the Bubbly Volunteer, who volunteered the information that she was very excited about becoming a grandmother.  I did the obligatory smile while the woman across from the Bubbly Volunteer and me talked.  She knew she was having a grandson, and her daughter was 21 weeks along.  She was thrilled.  Her son and daughter had been trying for eleven years to have a child.  She then said something that really caught my attention.  She said her daughter-in-law had never made it this far in a pregnancy before, but some sort of surgical procedure had made it possible.  I joined the conversation at that point and asked point blank if her daughter-in-law had lost a previous baby.  She said yes, three, and all at 16 weeks.  I don’t remember what sex they were, but she did say that the second miscarriage was twins.  She went on to say that anytime after 26 weeks her daughter-in-law could have the baby and he would survive.  Her grandson was 9 inches long and weighed ten pounds, and she was just beaming.  I wished the Bubbly Volunteer and her family well and left.

I contemplated what this woman said on the way home and compared it with my grandmother experience of Nora’s stillbirth.  The Bubbly Volunteer never got to gaze upon the beauty of her grandchildren, never got the chance to cuddle them in the crook of her arm, and never got to give them a kiss.  Her only pictures of her grandchildren were ultrasounds of the babies.  I realized that I was the lucky one in this instance.  I at least was able to hold, cuddle and touch Nora.  She was real.  I was able to gaze upon her lovely eyelashes, cute chubby cheeks, little upturned nose, and her gorgeous full lips.  I was able to touch her cheeks and give her a kiss.  I am able to remember how she felt so snuggly in my arms.  Bubbly Volunteer never had that.  In this instance, I am the lucky one.

Inspirational Bereaved Parent - An Interview with Catherine from Twinkle of Light

Today is my first Inspirational Bereaved Parent Interview and post!  I am super excited to be spending Saturdays posting interviews and guest posts from parents who are using their grief to create a legacy of love.  If you have a story of how you have transformed your grief after child loss please check out my page for more information about being featured on Stillborn and Still Breathing as an Inspirational Bereaved Parent.

Now today I am honored to be interviewing Catherine, a fellow baby loss mom and blogger.

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Lindsey: Catherine, I am so excited to interview you today!  I just finished participating in your Mother's Day Name Event and found it incredibly therapeutic.  I know others felt the same way too as so many of the moms who sent me pictures of Nora’s name voiced the same sentiment.  With this event you found a way to allow other grieving moms the opportunity to come together from all across the globe to honor and remember the loss and life of their child and their roles as mothers.  Not to mention the opportunity to create connections with other bereaved mothers like themselves.  That is pretty powerful stuff.   

Catherine: I’m really glad that the Mother’s Day Name Event turned out to be a healing project for so many baby loss mamas. That was the primary reason why I decided to put it together and even though we had some hiccups along the way, I think for the most part it was a success. 

Lindsey: After receiving the devastating news, during a mid-pregnancy ultrasound, that baby Gabriel would not survive outside of the womb, you bravely decided to carry him until as you say, "His soul went to Heaven." He was born into this world silently on July 19th, 2012.  Then after the loss of your son, you created Sacred Seashores and Gabriel's Garden to honor Gabriel's memory.  What motivated you to create these sacred places that help other bereaved parents with their grief through honoring their children either on the beach or in the garden through the beautiful photos you take in their child's name?

Catherine: My greatest motivation has of course been Gabriel. I’m motivated to keep Gabriel’s legacy alive because I believe in it. I think that others, even those who have never experienced child loss can learn from it and live their lives a little better because of it.

 

Gabriel’s Garden and The Sacred Seashore are parts of Gabriel’s legacy. They represent Gabriel’s impact on the world and all of the ways he’s making a difference in the lives of others, simply by sharing a little kindness, compassion and beauty with those who are hurting. It’s truly the little things we do with great love that end up helping people the most. That’s such an important lesson and yet few people ever learn it, let alone embrace it. I’m so grateful that my son once taught it to me and that I’ve been able to help others because of it.

 

Lindsey: That is a powerful gift Gabriel gave you.  Was transforming your grief and including Gabriel in that transformation in some way a necessary part of your healing process?

Catherine:  Definitely.  

After Gabriel died, I became determined to live out his legacy. As almost every grieving mother can tell you, my biggest fear was that one day my baby would be forgotten. I couldn’t let that happen when in my heart I knew that Gabriel’s life was special and meaningful. He may never have taken a breath of air, but he inspired a massive amount of love and joy and he impacted my life more than any other person. Everything I now know about life, I learned from him. Everything I do for others, including Gabriel’s Garden and The Sacred Seashore, I do to honor him and to defer focus away from his death back to where it belongs... his life and his legacy. 

Using my grief to keep Gabriel’s spirit alive has not only helped me to cope with his loss, but also to live a fuller and more meaningful life. Even though my life would be so much better if he was here, I don’t let that stop me from searching for happiness and healing and having the best life I possibly can. To me, Gabriel doesn’t represent what is absent from my life, but rather what is not missing. His loss magnifies everything that I do have and puts life into perspective. It’s impossible to put into words how blessed I feel to have a loving husband, supportive parents, true friendships and a safe place to call home, all things that I had before Gabriel, but never truly appreciated.  

Lindsey: I agree, it is so important to focus on what we still have while we're suffering, even if it is hard to do and I know I too appreciate the important things in life more. But to move forward through grief, I have heard sometimes it’s important for a bereaved parent to work through their own grief first before they can help others, but some find helping others part of their process towards healing.  When did you know you were ready to take the next step to transform your grief into something healing? 

    

Catherine: Looking back, Gabriel’s Garden was really just a natural step in my grief journey. In the beginning I struggled with a lot of the same feelings that most baby loss mothers experience early on and I was really grateful for all of the support and care that I received from other moms who were further out on their grief journeys. 

Opening up yourself to accepting help from others is a really critical step in the healing process. Nobody is strong enough to go through the loss a child without any support and yet it can be difficult to ask for help. That’s why belonging to a community and finding people who understand what you’re going through is so important. 

For me, helping others was a natural step that followed all the steps I took to receive help. Gabriel’s Garden and The Sacred Seashore are such powerful healers for me because amongst many other reasons, they’ve allowed me to take more steps in my grief journey. I believe that progression, not time, is the healer of wounds which is why healing often feels like a never-ending road. It is.

    

Lindsey:  Do you have any other advice for newly bereaved parents or others looking to find something positive to do with their grief?

Catherine: I’ve noticed that there are 2 types of grieving parents. 

The first is the person who focuses on their child’s death and is overwhelmed by it. They see life as unfair, cruel and ugly. Others feel sorry for them.

 

The second is the person who focuses on their child’s life and is inspired by it. They see life as precious, sacred and beautiful. Others can learn so much from them.

My advice is to strive to become the second person. It may take some time, but do what you can today to start heading in that direction.

When Gabriel died, I realized that I had a choice in how I could live out the remaining years of my life. I could choose to spend the rest of my life hiding under the covers complaining about how unlucky I am and how unfair life is. Or I could give meaning to Gabriel’s life by living mine to the fullest and feeling grateful for all of my blessings - past, present and future. I chose the second option then, and I’m still choosing it today.

You can also choose this path. Taking steps toward healing, showing appreciation for your life, counting your blessings and committing small acts of kindness are all positive things you can do with your grief. Every single day, do your best to leave behind feelings of bitterness and despair which ultimately only hurt you more. Instead focus on finding and spreading kindness, love, joy and beauty – these things will help you to heal and lead a better life in honor of your child. 

Lindsey:  I could not have said it any better.  Thank you Catherine for sharing your grief transformation story with us today.  I know you are an inspiration to other bereaved parents as you are an inspiration to me as a grieving mom.  You have helped so many through their journey of grief towards healing, including me.  I thank you for that.

    

Catherine: Thank you so much, Lindsey. You are absolutely an inspiration as well. Voicing grief and sharing it with others is a healing tool I would highly recommend to anyone and I’m so grateful that you encourage that openness in the baby loss community.

   

You can find Catherine on Instagram where she takes beautiful photos or check out her blog Twinkle of Light.  Catherine also has healing photography sites, the Sacred Seashore and Gabriel's Garden where you can purchase your child's name in the sand or have your child remembered through photos and poetry at Gabriel's Garden. 



Also, below you will see a sample of her work.  She made Nora's Name in the sand for me.  So sweet and such a great artist!  Thanks Catherine.