Tuesday, June 25, 2013

5 Signs of Healing from Grief

"How are you doing?" With a hug and sincere concern.

I answer, "We have good moments and bad moments.  The good ones are starting to out weigh the bad."

And that is how I know I am healing.

Inspired by Signs of Healing in Healing a Father's Grief by.... I created my own list of Signs of Healing and borrowed a few from theirs.  See below for signs I know that my grief is softening with each passing day.

5 Signs of Healing from Grief


1.  Notice Others Pain
I begin to step outside of my own grief and notice others are grieving the loss of my child too. I have begun to let their grief and love for my child intertwine with mine and share in others experiences of loss and love.


2.  Grief is Your Welcomed Companion
I don't turn my back on or fight off grief anymore.  I walk with each other as equals on our new path.  I accept when Grief comes knocking on my door.  I invite him in and sit down with him for awhile.  I don't have expectations about when he is going to leave or for how long he is going to stay.  I have learned to accept that Grief comes and goes as he pleases and like my shadow I know he is always with me, even in a dark lonely room.  Especially there, and I am okay with that.

You have...

3.  Times of Emotional Relief
I'm not crying all the time.  I don't feel numb anymore (even at times you wish you did).  I have moments when you let a little joy and laughter in and allow yourself to feel it. The pain of grief doesn't go away, but the constant intensity of it lightens to let brief moments of relief from the pain in.


4. Depression Lifts & Parts of the Old You Shine Through
I no longer feel severely depressed after strong waves of grief.  I can get out of bed and go to work.  The moments of grief fog are fewer and farther apart.  Days aren't as heavy, but moments sometimes are and I am okay with that.  I find myself surprised when I laughed again or a smile crawls across my face after months of frowning.  I have begun to notice parts of the "old me" surface from time to time and come to life for a moment or two.  I am not the same as I once was but the old me pops up now and again. 


5. Move Forward & Make Plans for the Future
I have begun to plan for the future.  Taking risks and setting goals.  I have begun to find my footing again and it might be wobbly, but it's there.  I have begun to live for today and trust that the future will come and I make plans to make the best of it.

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