May 4th, 2013
Dear Sweet Nora,
I don't know what to say. I miss you more and more everyday. Sometimes, I think the sadness gets deeper. The grief gets harder. But your dad and I manage to make it through.
I have an important question to ask you today. I am really scared bringing up the subject, but honey, your dad and I decided that we are ready to try again for another baby. I want you to understand that trying for another baby is not meant to replace you. Oh, honey, you could never be replaced.
Your dad and I were talking about trying again the other day in a couple's therapy session and your dad said the sweetest thing. He said that part of the reason he was nervous about trying again was because he just couldn't believe any other baby could be as beautiful as you. He said, "I don't know if any baby could be as beautiful as Nora," with tears in his eyes. He loves you so much. As do I.
So you understand that this new baby, if we are blessed with one, wouldn't be to replace you, but to hopefully help fill the large whole that is left in our hearts from the place you were supposed to be. I don't think that any baby will ever fully sutcher the scar that is there, forever on our hearts. But maybe Nora, maybe another baby could heal our hearts just enough, that the wound will heal, but the scar tissue will forever show.
So, I end this letter, Nora, by asking for your blessing. Your dad and I believe it is time to try again. I want you to remember, it doesn't mean that we love you any less. We just want to make you a big sister. Even though I know how much it sucks being a big sister sometimes. (I know from experience, ask your Awesome Aunt Kristi.)
I hope you will send me a sign that we have your blessing. Even though I know that is silly to believe in. But I will be looking to see if you are ready for us to try again too.
I miss you. I love you. I can't put into words how much I miss and love you.
Love Always & Forever,