Wednesday, November 27, 2013

An Interview with Tova Gold - Why Muchness Matters in Grief

For the month of November I have been focusing on having an attitude and gratitude to help soften my grief.  I know my grief will always be with me, but I also want to find joy in life again.  For my grief project this month, I decided to focus my mind on the possibilities and the positives in life to help lift some of the darkness.  So far it’s working, but I’m always up for more advice.
So today to help us learn more about how our attitude can affect our ability to find healing and joy again we welcome Tova Gold a fellow bereaved mother, author, and creator of the concept of “Finding Your Muchness.”

Lindsey: Welcome Tova! Let’s get started.  What is muchness for those who don’t know?

Tova: Muchness is the light that lives inside you. It is the unique voice of joy and quirkiness and confidence that we are all born with.

Lindsey: How did you first decide to find your muchness?

Tova: Well, I suppose I decided to find it before I knew the word for it. I'd felt lost for a long time. I felt disconnected from myself, and like the talk in my head was all negative. I felt invisible and like I was just going through the motions of life.

Lindsey: How did finding your muchness affect your grief after the death of your twin daughters?

Tova: After my daughters died I was brought to the darkest place I'd ever known. As I sank into my grief I started to realize that in order to cope with that loss, I also had to find myself. I made the decision to start wearing happy, sparkly clothes. It was a way for me to create moments of joy even in the midst of the grief. It was then that I first heard the word Muchness and realized that the sparkle was helping me tap into a light inside me. Pulling that light out and sharing it with others ultimately reintroduced me to my creativity, my confidence, and ultimately, it became my purpose. To share the knowledge that we ALL have Muchness and it lives inside of us.

Lindsey: Why do you think there is so much power in muchness?

Tova: I think it resonates with people because it is really a word for that indescribable 'thing' - that thing that lives in our gut that we know, and yet we so often lose sight of. When we are not expressing our Muchness we are living in a shadow of who we are meant to be, and somewhere inside us, we know this. Knowing that your Muchness exists and having a name for it--- it's almost like being granted permission to let your Muchness shine.

Lindsey: Is my muchness the same as yours?

Tova: It depends how you mean "Muchness." - I refer to sequins and sparkle as my Muchness, because that is a tool I use to help me connect to my inner light and creativity. In that sense, I imagine no, your Muchness is different. (Though, for the record, sparkle and sequins is a good tool to help anyone tap into their Muchness…. at least initially) However- that feeling of expressing your Muchness, I believe is the same for everyone. It is that decision to  live from the inside out, authentically, happily and celebrating life's little joyous moments.

Lindsey: Can you point us in the right direction to help us find our muchness please?

Tova: I always tell people to start with their #MuchnessMoments. Those moments when you are ignited, inspired or invigorated just for a tiny moment. When you grasp onto those moments, celebrate them, document them, you'll start to feel rhythyms and see patterns - and then proactively create more Muchness Moments! It's really incredible what taking stock of your Muchness Moments can lead you to discover…. and it starts tiny.

Lindsey: Tova, it has been an honor to have you here today on the blog.  I am inspired by everything you do and look forward to your upcoming TEDx Hoboken Women talk where we can learn more about how to find our muchness. I’m also extremely grateful you thought of me as a contributor for your first book,  Finding Your Muchness FUNBook that will be coming out hopefully by the beginning of December.

Tova: I am so excited to have you in the book! Although we've met our fundraising goal, we are still looking to meet our stretch goals and deliver additional goodies with the book. Thank you Lindsey for being a  part of it and for having me on your site! I'm truly honored!

Tova Gold is a mother, fashion designer turned recent author, inspirational speaker, and leading muchness finder.  She is hard at work spreading her beautiful message about the power of muchness along with sparkles around the world.  You can learn more about Tova’s story by visiting her website Finding My Muchness or by liking her Facebook page.  If you like the idea of finding your muchness then consider purchasing Tova’s new book Finding Your Muchness FUNBOOK or tuning in for her TEDx Hoboken Women Talk.  Tova is also a monthly contributor to Still Standing Magazine.

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