Monday, June 17, 2013

Letters to Nora - A Father's Letter to His Daughter


This is first letter that I’ve wrote to you.  I wasn’t sure what to say and I’m still not sure, but I do want to thank you for making me a dad.  For the past five months I’ve wondered if I really am a dad because you never lived outside of your mom.  I only knew you through her.  I watched as her belly grew and I was excited everyday as we were one day closer to meeting you and being together, but it didn’t work out that way.

I suppose it was a double loss when you passed away.  I lost my beautiful daughter and I lost the identity that I had taken on when your mom got pregnant.  I lost the ability to call myself a father.  I felt guilty for my self-pity over losing that identity.  Shouldn’t my grief focus solely on the loss of you and not be focused on me?  But I kept envisioning myself pushing you in a swing or taking you for walks in the park or teaching you about the world.  I would never be able to do those things that a dad is supposed to do.

When your mom was pregnant I constantly researched what she should eat so you would be healthy.  I looked into daycares and elementary schools nearby.  I read about child development and nurturing techniques.  Your mom and I took classes on swaddling and baby CPR.  By doing these things I cared for you and protected you.  In this way you made me a dad.  I want to let you know that I will continue to care for and protect your memory and you will always be a part of our family.

With love,

Your Dad

1 comment:

  1. Absolutely beautiful. Never have any doubt that you are a father. Reading this was like talking to my husband. So many similar and familiar feelings he's expressed to me. My heart hurts for you! Your Nora is a lucky girl to have you as her dad!


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