Wednesday, May 15, 2013

I planned for...I got




I Planned For...I Got.

I planned for mommy groups.

I got baby loss support groups.

I scheduled for bring your baby to yoga classes.

I got unpack your grief yoga workshops.
  
I hoped for new mommy friends.

I got new mommy friends with dead babies like me.  

I thought I would get congratulations cards with balloons.

I got condolence cards with sympathy, of course.

I bought diapers, that I won't open.  

I have ovulation tests, that I dread having to use.

I saw play dates in my future.

I now have graveyard visits.  

I prepared for breastfeeding.

I got engorged breasts instead.  

I was dreading sleepless nights.

I get to hide away and sleep all day.  

I waited for walks with the stroller through the park.

I get walks with grief instead.  

I pictured putting her down for naps.

I get restless nights forever.  

I dreamed of holding her in my arms.

Instead, I get to hold her only in my heart.

3 comments:

  1. A powerful post, Lindsey. This reality sucks.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm right there with you. It all just sucks! I think it's all the dreams I had for him that seem to hurt the most. This was most certainly not how this was supposed to be...

    ReplyDelete

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