I Planned For...I Got.
I planned for mommy groups.
I got baby loss support groups.
I scheduled for bring your baby to yoga classes.
I got unpack your grief yoga workshops.
I hoped for new mommy friends.
I got new mommy friends with dead babies like me.
I thought I would get congratulations cards with balloons.
I got condolence cards with sympathy, of course.
I bought diapers, that I won't open.
I have ovulation tests, that I dread having to use.
I saw play dates in my future.
I now have graveyard visits.
I prepared for breastfeeding.
I got engorged breasts instead.
I was dreading sleepless nights.
I get to hide away and sleep all day.
I waited for walks with the stroller through the park.
I get walks with grief instead.
I pictured putting her down for naps.
I get restless nights forever.
I dreamed of holding her in my arms.
Instead, I get to hold her only in my heart.