Monday, April 29, 2013

Letters to Nora - January 15th, 2013

January 15th, 2013

Dear Sweet Nora,

I wanted to write to you the story I read when your dad and I were trying to conceive you.  I hoped and dreamed and wished for you so.  Then I cam across this African story called a "Child's Song."  So honey, I am going to tell you the story now and imagine that you are in my arms as I read you a story to fall asleep.  Here I go.  Are you comfortable sweet girl, because it's story time before bed.  

A Child'S Song ~ by Sobonfu Some

There is a tribe in Africa where the birth date of a child is counted not from when they've been born, nor from when they are conceived but from the day that the child was thought in its mother's mind.  

And when a women decides that she will have a child, she goes off and sits under a tree, by herself, and she listens until she can hear the song of the child that wants to come.  And after she has heard the song of this child, she comes back to the man who will be the child's father and teaches it to him.  And then they make love to physically conceive the child, some of that time they sing the song of the child, as a way to invite it. 

And then when the mother is pregnant, the mother teaches the child's song to the midwives and the old women of the village, so that when the child is born, the old women and the people around her sing the child's song to welcome it. And then as the child grows up, the other villagers are taught the child's song.  If the child falls and hurts its knee, someone picks it up and signs its song to him or her.  Or perhaps the child does something wonderful, or goes through the rights of puberty, then as a waY of honoring this person, the people of the village sing his or her song.

And it goes this way through the child's life.  In marriage, the songs are sung, together.  And finally, when this child is lying in bed ready to die, all the villagers know his or her song, and they sing - for the last time, the song of that person.

At times I can feel your song, honey.  I know when I was pregnant with you I caught myself humming, not sure what it was, it wasn't a song I knew from pop culture or the radio, it was my own tune, that I now believe is your tune. I hum it now and it makes me sad.  It doesn't come as easily as it did before.  Probably because your no longer inside of me. 

I miss you so much, honey.  Oh, how your dad and I wanted to see you grow up, see what kind of person you would have become.  I wish I could have seen your smile and your eyes.

Honey, I know it's early to be thinking about it, and I would never be able to replace you in my heart or soul, but do you think your dad and I will have other children?  Maybe a sister or brother for you?  If you have any sway in the power of the universe, please help your dad and I get pregnant with a brother or sister for you, and one that will be healthy, happy, beautiful (like you), and out live your dad and I by 70+ years.

I miss you.  I love you. I wish you were here, so does your daddy.  He misses you a lot and it pains me to see him like this.  For both of us it hurts so much, honey, because we loved you so much already.

Love Always & Forever,



  1. Beautiful story Lindsey. I would love to hear Nora's 'song' sometime. I am sure that the song is just as beautiful as she was.

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    2. Mom, I could never sing you Nora's song. You always told me that I had a bad singing voice. ;). Just kidding. I would love to sing it to you some time. It's more of a hum, so my pitch won't hurt your ears. Love you.

    3. I never said you had a bad singing voice......would love to hear you hum it. I have been doing a lot of planning for Nora's garden. Dad and I will be mapping it out in the next week to 10 days. Can hardly wait to write about it! Love You too!

  2. Lindsey, what a wonderful story. I love thinking that Joseph was "born" the day we thought of him.
    -Burning Eye

    1. I like the idea that our children are born when we think of them too.


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