"Have you tired relaxation techniques?" is what my doctor said as I sat on the crinkly paper spread over the exam table. As she said this I smiled, while giving a her a look of, "Are you kidding?" I had come in to see her that day due to the headaches I was having ever since I started back to work six weeks after Nora died. I couldn't believe relaxation techniques were her answer as I was there expecting some more bad news like a brain tumor or something else tragic; since such had been my life lately.
When I asked her, "Are you sure I don't have a brain tumor?" in a humorous yet completely serious way (I am a hypochondriac, self-diagnosed of course, like all hypochondriacs). She replied with, "You have been through a lot. This is anxiety and stress." I breathed a sigh of relief and agreed with her completely. I mean, I do clench my jaw at night while I am stressed, and during graduate school my dentist suggested a mouth guard at night, but after wearing head gear in high school, I have had enough of that silly stuff. I decided I would just manage my stress, anxiety, and headaches on my own. I could deal with this, after all, I had already been through so much in my grief, what was a little extra stress and anxiety in the grand scheme of things?
My doctor's appointment was in mid-March and as I went through the weeks I realized that my stress was not fading and decided that my month of dedication to meditation, mindfulness techniques, and yoga was probably just what I needed. I have been so busy the last two months preparing to run a half marathon in April and May, getting back into the swing of things at work, and making healing connections with others as part of my grief project, I had forgotten the importance of slowing down in order to heal.
So this month I will get back in touch with my emotions surrounding grief by taking time out to really sit with it. For the month of April I will "sit with my grief," which will entail setting aside time to practice mediation daily, engage in yoga exercises twice a week, and find and create a healing place of refuge where I will meet my grief and explore it on a deeper, more intimate level with myself.
Once again, as part of My Grief Project, I will update you each Friday during the month about my experience with using these specific healing techniques and how they help in healing the grief after child and pregnancy loss. My journey using these healing techniques will be as follows:
I look forward to taking the time this month to slow down and take a seat with my new companion, Grief. I'm sure on our travels together we will find out a lot about each other.
~Still Breathing...Lindsey
When I asked her, "Are you sure I don't have a brain tumor?" in a humorous yet completely serious way (I am a hypochondriac, self-diagnosed of course, like all hypochondriacs). She replied with, "You have been through a lot. This is anxiety and stress." I breathed a sigh of relief and agreed with her completely. I mean, I do clench my jaw at night while I am stressed, and during graduate school my dentist suggested a mouth guard at night, but after wearing head gear in high school, I have had enough of that silly stuff. I decided I would just manage my stress, anxiety, and headaches on my own. I could deal with this, after all, I had already been through so much in my grief, what was a little extra stress and anxiety in the grand scheme of things?
My doctor's appointment was in mid-March and as I went through the weeks I realized that my stress was not fading and decided that my month of dedication to meditation, mindfulness techniques, and yoga was probably just what I needed. I have been so busy the last two months preparing to run a half marathon in April and May, getting back into the swing of things at work, and making healing connections with others as part of my grief project, I had forgotten the importance of slowing down in order to heal.
So this month I will get back in touch with my emotions surrounding grief by taking time out to really sit with it. For the month of April I will "sit with my grief," which will entail setting aside time to practice mediation daily, engage in yoga exercises twice a week, and find and create a healing place of refuge where I will meet my grief and explore it on a deeper, more intimate level with myself.
Once again, as part of My Grief Project, I will update you each Friday during the month about my experience with using these specific healing techniques and how they help in healing the grief after child and pregnancy loss. My journey using these healing techniques will be as follows:
- April 6th -12th - Find A Place of Refuge
- April 13th - 19th - Yoga & Grief
- April 20th - 26th - Meditation - Sitting with Grief
I look forward to taking the time this month to slow down and take a seat with my new companion, Grief. I'm sure on our travels together we will find out a lot about each other.
"We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey." ~Kenji Miyazawa
~Still Breathing...Lindsey
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