Letters to Nora - January 11th, 2013, Again

Today in Letters to Nora I wanted to highlight another blogging Mommy who is doing great things with her blog Love you, Mom.  Kayla is a blogging Mommy who collects letters from moms to their children, be it children who are alive, deceased, teenagers, or toddlers.  It's a great way for us moms to show our love for our children through letters and also connect with other mothers through story telling.   If you are a mom who wants to share a letter you wrote to your son or daughter there is a space for your letter on Love you, Mom.  Check out her blog, because today she highlights one of my letters to Nora.  Thank you, Kayla, for bringing Moms of all kinds together through our letters.

January 11th, 2013

Dear Nora,

I wanted to write to you again tonight.  Oh, how I can't get enough of you, but you are not here.  I am drawn to your picture and think of you always.  I wanted to tell you about the day I found out I was pregnant with you.

I had a feeling, a feeling that I was pregnant, but you see, I shouldn't have been.  Your dad and I only made love twice without protection that month due to a procedure I was going to have. You must have happened after the procedure.  This is when you must have implanted into my uterus wall, because at my job which was at a high school, on April 17h, I took a pregnancy test in the bathroom stall after the students left.  I felt like a teenager, and as I stared at myself in the mirror holding the pee stick, I slowly saw the blue plus sign appear in the small circular window.  The test was positive!  I was pregnant, with you!   I didn't believe it, so I took another and it confirmed the first.

I didn't tell your dad that night because we had just packed up the condo and the next morning we were going to sign our mortgage on our new home and I had a plan of how I wanted to tell him.  I prepared by putting a green ribbon around the pregnancy test and kept it in my purse for safe keeping.  I had planned on giving it to your dad after we went to the new house that day and was going to present the pregnancy test to him in your room.

However, our closing kept getting pushed back form 10 a.m. until 2 p.m. and we were stuck in the condo waiting because there was a spring rainstorm that day.  All I could do was think about telling him and it seemed as if I couldn't wait for my plan.  I had tossed and turned all night out of excitement and anticipation of sharing the news with him.  I never keep secrets from your dad so this was killing me.  

As we waited in our old condo, with both of us sitting on our mattress now laying on the floor, waiting to be moved, I grabbed my purse and pulled out the pregnancy test and handed it to your dad. He gave me an inquisitive look and then a look of shock and happiness grew on his face.  He looked up at me and said, "Are we pregnant?" with a tear of joy sliding down his cheek and I said, "Yes."  

We embraced and I was so happy that I could make him this happy, Nora.  The rest of our pregnancy together was filled with joyful moments, excitement about what was to come, and planning with great anticipation for your arrival.  I am so sorry, honey, that it ended so soon.  Oh, how I had so many plans for us with you.  But I am grateful for the joy you have given us in the short time we had together.  If I had to do it all over again, and I couldn't change the outcome, I would still do it.  It was such a great year 2012.  Except for the last two days, honey, which have been the saddest of my life.

I love you sweet Nora, always & forever.

Love Always & Forever, 

Mom