I never once had a dream about Nora as a baby in my belly or alive. I had feelings; things I just knew. I just knew I was pregnant, without missing my period. I just knew that she was a girl. I just knew a lot of things, but I never dreamed about her. I never dreamed of her alive. But last night I had a vivid dream, a dream about him, my next child.
In the dream I was giving birth to him. He was moving in my belly. As I lay there on the hospital bed, with Nick once again by my side, I was getting ready to bring my next child into the world, and I was scared.
I looked down at my once again swollen belly and all of the sudden I could see the outline of a baby through my skin. There he was, a boy! I could see his arms, legs, face, body, toes, fingers, and yes, his little manliness.
Then it was time to deliver. It was time for him to come into this world and fear washed over me. In the dream, I blacked out. The next thing I remember is I was standing up and out came a baby that the doctor caught. He was ALIVE! He was breathing, and screaming, and moving! He was ALIVE! He was ALIVE!
He was small, but he was alive. He was healthy, and I was in a different kind of shock then last time. I couldn't believe it. And then I woke up.
In bed, in my awake state, I was overwhelmed with the emotions of my dream. I was happy...I was sad...I was scared...but I was hopeful.
I felt like I could do it. I could bring an alive baby into this world. Maybe my dream was a sign of hope, that life will be different. Or maybe it was my mind rewriting the past for a wishful present. I believe it was a sign; a sign of a future that is possible, no matter how scary.
In the dream I was giving birth to him. He was moving in my belly. As I lay there on the hospital bed, with Nick once again by my side, I was getting ready to bring my next child into the world, and I was scared.
I looked down at my once again swollen belly and all of the sudden I could see the outline of a baby through my skin. There he was, a boy! I could see his arms, legs, face, body, toes, fingers, and yes, his little manliness.
Then it was time to deliver. It was time for him to come into this world and fear washed over me. In the dream, I blacked out. The next thing I remember is I was standing up and out came a baby that the doctor caught. He was ALIVE! He was breathing, and screaming, and moving! He was ALIVE! He was ALIVE!
He was small, but he was alive. He was healthy, and I was in a different kind of shock then last time. I couldn't believe it. And then I woke up.
In bed, in my awake state, I was overwhelmed with the emotions of my dream. I was happy...I was sad...I was scared...but I was hopeful.
I felt like I could do it. I could bring an alive baby into this world. Maybe my dream was a sign of hope, that life will be different. Or maybe it was my mind rewriting the past for a wishful present. I believe it was a sign; a sign of a future that is possible, no matter how scary.
I am so happy for the hope you received through this dream!! How wonderful, Lindsey...hope is the best feeling :)
ReplyDeleteIt's funny you mention that you never dreamed about Nora. I never dreamed about Josh either. The whole time I was pregnant I had dreams about a little baby, but it was always a little girl. I never did dream about a little boy. At first, I thought that meant that the ultrasound was wrong and we were going to be surprised with a girl on delivery day, but now I'm starting to wonder if it means we will have a girl and she will be the baby we raise. Who knows. Maybe we're both just crazy and trying to read too much into dreams, but like you, I like to think that maybe they are meant to be signs of hope in some way.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree with what you said more. Sometimes I don't know if I'm crazy or not. But I will take hope where ever I can find it these days, you know.
DeleteI didn't dream about my Lucy, either, until just the other night. I always wanted to, but it never happened until after she was gone. What a wonderful dream to have, and I hope, too, it's a wonderful sign of the future.
ReplyDeleteI myself didn't dream of much of my daughter. I recently had a dream of another baby as well and I wondered if it was a sign as well. Dreams like this give me hope, but at the same time I'm scared to go through this hurt all over again
ReplyDeleteI agree Rochelle. I am really scared to go through this all over again. The only version of pregnancy I know is that of one that ended in death. I really hope that doesn't happen next time. I am sure it will be extremely anxiety provoking.
ReplyDeleteI never dreamt about my daughter either. The pregnancy was fast,smooth, and perfect...so was she but asleep. We were so close to the end only 6 more weeks to go.
ReplyDeleteI never dreamt about my daughter either. The pregnancy was fast,smooth, and perfect...so was she but asleep. We were so close to the end only 6 more weeks to go.
ReplyDelete